In her late 50s, Pat Gentile was diagnosed with breast cancer. During chemotherapy, she lost all her hair, so she began to wear a wig.
"But that wig — and I only had one wig — that wig was itchy, and it was annoying," Gentile said. "So at some point, I decided when I sort of had a crew cut look that it was time to give the wig up."
Her first time driving to work without the wig, Gentile felt exposed. As the dean of a local college and a frequent spokesperson, she worried about how people would respond.
"I didn't want to get the 'pity eyes' that people give you when you're sick," Gentile said. "I wanted to just keep moving."
She stopped at a convenience store to pick up some coffee and lunch. As she shopped through the aisles, a woman approached her. Fifteen years later, Gentile still remembers what the woman said.
"She said, 'Not everybody could wear a hairstyle like that. You look fabulous.'"
Gentile was stunned. She managed to say, "Thank you," before the woman walked away. Then she went back to her car, letting the words settle.
"I sat there for a while, sort of embracing this wonderful, kind thing that this person had said to me," Gentile said.
"And it really made a turning point for me that made me feel seen, made me feel normal and gave me the courage to get to work and just get started."
Gentile donated the wig and never looked back. She completed chemotherapy and has had no evidence of cancer since 2011.
Thinking back to that encounter, she credits the woman's kindness as a turning point. She says it inspires her to see other people the way that stranger saw her and to acknowledge what they might be going through.
"I think about this woman a lot. I still see her in my mind's eye. I only saw her for a few seconds, but she made such an impression on me that I'm kinder because of her. So I'm very grateful."
My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.
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